Here's My Hollywood Hijinks!


I arrived in Hollywood late in the day.

Fiona gets her mail late! It was too late to do much but rest and recuperate from my travels but first thing in the morning, Fiona and I were up and at ‘em!

First thing we did was to take Fiona’s best friend Venus for a walk. The weather was warm and sunny. We had fun! We walked “south of the boulevard” a leafy, green, beautiful section of Studio City, home of many TV and movie studios. It is one mile from Fiona’s home. South of the Boulevard is a local expression for south of Ventura Boulevard. You are not poverty stricken if you can afford to live here!

On March 3, I went to lunch at the Grove and ate at Marmalades with Jackie Kallen, a world famous boxing manager. What a thrill! I got to have lunch with Jackie Kallen, the “First Lady of Boxing.” Fiona writes about boxing and she and Jackie are great friends. Paramount Pictures made a movie about Jackie called “Against The Ropes” and Meg Ryan played her in the movie.

Jackie wrote in my journal!

The character in the movie has no resemblance to the REAL Jackie Kallen who is a living doll. The movie is total fiction! Everyone who knows and loves Jackie is deeply upset by the movie’s portrayal of her life. In real life, Jackie is a tireless advocate for homeless and battered women. She has survived an attempted murder by her former champion James Toney, a cancer scare and a heart attack. Phew! She speaks everywhere to women and encourages and inspires them. She gave me a little boxing glove, which is in my box of goodies!

I love Jackie and I also met her lovely friend Daisy “The Lady” Lang, a three time world boxing champion from Germany. Daisy autographed a photo of her with her belts, also in my box! As you can see from her photo Daisy would be a nice lady to know in a dark alley!

In the evening, Fiona and I went to a Mary Kay party. My very first!

Fiona said she hates to be “strong-armed” into going to make-up parties but we had a blast!

I met the host, China Rose, a genuine Hollywood fortune teller. She predicted I would be taking a long journey. Wow! She’s good! I am here with China and her husband Charlie. He is a celebrity personal assistant to actress Cindy Williams of “Laverne and Shirley” fame.

Everybody at the party had to put their faces into a special machine that projects how their skin will look in 10 years. I heard a lot of groan and gasps. Whatever Fiona saw, she looked quite ill. She forked up $250 for a complete set of products!

The only two people to be told they have flawless skin were me and Kerry Kay (real name Kevin) a transvestite! Only in Hollywood!

The party was held at a Chinese restaurant called Uncle Chen. Other diners kept walking past to stare at Kerry Kay and me!

Finally, we went home to bed!

I went the next day to see Fiona’s lovely friend Don Scribner, an actor (you may have seen him in the movie “The Cooler.”)

He is here with Fiona’s other lovely friend Vivian who owns an amazing DVD/CD store called “Heavy Rotation.” People from all the studios bring brand new releases of movies and CDs that they are given for free. Lucky shoppers can get these months or weeks ahead of general release for a fraction of the price. Fiona bought her niece and nephew a copy of “Lady And The Tramp.” We took it home and decided to keep the DVD and watch it ourselves. Shh….don’t tell her niece!

Here I am meeting Fiona’s lovely cousin Jeanine and her daughter Antonia.

Antonia loved me until she heard she couldn’t keep me. Then she lost interest in playing with me!

Here I am with Fiona’s lovely neighbor Jeff Winn who is hardly ever home. He travels constantly but we bumped into him and Fiona’s other lovely neighbor Richard.

Jeff works on the TV series “Survivor.” He is heading next to Hawaii for the series’ next production. He has signed a contract stating that he will not write or talk about the show for 5 years! On his right is Richard. He is a college professor. (Aren't they CUTE???)

Here I am trying to enjoy the sun.

…but Fiona’s cat Banjo smacks me away from his chair! Fiona caught me just in time! Remember, I am proud to have a flawless complexion!

Here I am sight seeing in Hollywood!

The staircase here was used in the final scenes of the movie “Pretty Woman.” It looks good on film when Richard Gere proposes to Julia Roberts but this is actually a rundown motel called the Las Palmas Hotel on Las Palmas Avenue.

Here I am with Shirley Temple’s footprints!

Outside the Kodak Theater, posing with Kevin Costner’s star on Hollywood Boulevard.

Note: there are so many new stars being put on the boulevard, they are starting to double them up as you can see above.

This is the Hollywood Boulevard Snake Man.

He poses for pictures for a fee with his snake who is 9 feet long!

Fiona was seat filling at the Academy Awards so we went to the Kodak Theatre to pick up her credentials.

All sorts of weird people were there.

The woman above is NOT the real Princess Fiona from the movie “Shrek.”

Weird, oops, I mean lovely people dress up as movie characters and for a fee, will pose for a photo with you. The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce is trying to stop this. They see they’re harassing the tourists.

This is me with Mimi, a lovely friend of Fiona’s.

Mimi is a celebrity assistant to actress Kimberley Elise, star of the TV series, “Close To Home.”

This delightful, slightly cantankerous lady is Fiona’s lovely friend Vivienne Walker Zavitz.

She was the hairdresser on 250 movies. She did Elizabeth Taylor’s hair (they met on the set of “Cleopatra”). They are still best mates. Vivienne was a little bit critical of my hair but I told her I have a flawless complexion! Experts have told me so. We met for lunch at the Robin Hood British pub. We ate fish and chips and “lashings of hot tea” as Vivienne put it. She said my face reminds her of an old-time movie star she once worked on. She says she can’t remember who it was: “I’m 92, you know.” Vivienne still has lunch once a month with Elizabeth Taylor and Jean Simmons. “We three old broads still get together,” she told me. Vivienne’s favorite client was Joan Crawford, with whom she corresponded until the day Joan died. Vivienne could never bring herself to call her Joan and always called her “Miss C.” Fiona adopted it for me!

Vivi says Joan was nothing like “Mommie Dearest.” She says Miss C. was an angel.

Preparing to attend the Oscars!

Fiona’s lovely friend Leslie Miller came to meet me. Leslie is a news reader and reporter for ABC-TV (Channel 7) news. She said I inspired her to get very long hair extensions for her post-fight Oscar coverage for ABC.

The next day, she told us she got mixed reviews on the hair. I thought she looked beautiful. On the way to the Kodak, we stopped at Fiona’s lovely friend Melissa Prophet’s house. She is a manager and was throwing a birthday brunch for her star client, actress Illeana Douglas.

At last, here is a pic of Fiona herself, surround by Melissa (L) and Illeana (R). (Fiona doesn't know this, but I think she is so cute!)

The Big Day!

I am ready for my close-up, Mr. deMille!

Here I am with my very own Oscar!

Banjo the cat is a camera hog.

Venus the dog is not. She loathes the camera.

I went to the Oscars. We are still waiting for some of those pics. They will be posted soon!

But I did NOT get inside the auditorium on the actual day. I had to sit with Fiona’s lovely friend, the script supervisor Tina deBone behind the stage door. Tina is the one who monitors the carefully-scripted show for deviations and has power to issue a five-second delay should anyone wish to bear a breast or swear. Fiona was not allowed to take a camera with her, she borrowed a friend’s camera phone. We are waiting for her to email the pics

I had fun though!!!!

Backstage I met Tina's lovely friend Judy. She is a wonderful girl who beat out thousands of other artists to design, create and complete the poster campaign for the 78th annual Academy Awards. She signed posters for the "workers" and although she wouldn't pose with me, she is seen here signing a poster for me, Crissy!

The poster is HUGE and wouldn't fit in my box so Fiona has to find a mailing tube big enough to fit it and she will send it on to Beth.

More to come!

My last Sunday...

I went to the lovely country town of Ojai

Pronounced O-hi, with Fiona and her best two-legged friend, Claire. Ojai, a Chumash word meaning nest, is a 1 hr, 15 minute drive north of Los Angeles.

Claire is Fiona’s bestest bud and they come up here often to antique, have afternoon tea and have a groovy get together!

Half way to Ojai it started to rain!

Is that for me???? My very own pot of Earl Grey tea and bread pudding with Chantilly Cream.


I came here to Tottenham Court Tea Room with Claire and Fiona. After lunch, I waited in the car while they shopped. It was raining so hard!

I didn’t mind…I was exhausted!

I will get some rest on the plane heading to my newest adventure in Illinois with my lovely friend Georgia.

Hollywood, it’s been swell!!!!!



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